Reflection by © Michaël Lessard, 1998.

To Exist As A Christian

It seems to me that so many Christians around the world are awefully afraid of death. 

   Sometimes I get the impression many are Christian because they are afraid their soul will someday extinguish itself if they do not abide by religion.  They are so self-absorbed by their own little soul and thoughts of salvation, that they do not seem to see, or even want to see, the present-day horrors of humanity and the injustices to which they sometimes indirectly participate ; mostly unknowingly and unwillingly. 

   Is God a blind or superficial parent who thanks his children for doing the correct rituals and for looking fine in public, while not caring that they are not authentic ?  The God I feel cares about the world, since in my view, it is all of humanity, the One, every single consciousness.  If the One is the world and a spiritual All, why would my existence be more important then that of the young child bombed or starved by "my representatives" ; the leaders we have chosen. 

   I am not afraid of death, but I am terrified of not living for real, of pretending to be, of living blindly in complicity.  The One, universe, humanity and my life are here and now.  My soul soars or fades in how I exist truly everyday.  It just feels so foolish to live hoping for a better place in an afterlife.  Is our definition of God simply someone on a throne that will reward us for enduring calmly yet in quiet indifference.  Is he simply an instrument of self-security with which we shelter ourselves in ritualistic servitude while turning ones eyes away from those we see being violated. 

   The pain and anger burning inside reminds me all the time that I too am responsible for our world.  When I look back from a moment past, I know I chose either to be afraid or to do what I knew deep down was just.  Yes, I too am afraid for my soul, that is why I look straight at myself and the present-day cruelty of humankind.

 


 

* Copyright - The text above cannot be used in whole or in part without the consent of Michaël Lessard responding to miclesgeo[at]yahoo[dot]com or 1-418-254-6448 (no.225).  If both the e-mail and phone number fail, this means I have died and you must ask the living person in charge of my belongings (refer to the Quebec-Canada government).